Is Ebay a Remarkable Communicator or WHAT?

[Time Travel Warning – From the Archives]

This little gem dates back to 2011—yep, 14 years ago. I was selling odds and ends on eBay (still am, now under RemoteYardSale, if you’re curious), and I got stuck dealing with a buyer who somehow “won” an auction but didn’t think paying was part of the deal. What followed was this jaw-dropping email from eBay support.

At the time, I figured it was just outsourced customer service gone sideways. But in hindsight? It smells a lot like one of eBay’s early, glitchy attempts at an automated bot response. Either way, it’s worth preserving for the sheer grammatical chaos.

Enjoy the cringe. Original post here untouched and just as baffling as ever!

 

Tammy Harper

As published on carlsbad.patch.com; Dec. 11, 2010

Still Keeping the Skies Safe: Tammy Harper

Meet a local mom who has experience refueling jet fighters in flight.

   Sometimes I don't even leave the neighborhood to find someone interesting to talk to. In fact, I didn't even leave my front yard when I met Tammi Harper who brought her two daughters over for a play date with my daughter.

While they played, we talked.

Born in Spain and raised in an Alaska town called North Pole, this unassuming lady, I find out, was stationed in France in 1999 and flew in Operation Allied Force. And she didn't fly in a tiny craft, either. She was the navigator aboard the Hawaii Air National Guard's KC-135 and was part of the team that refueled the 240 NATO combat aircraft in flight.

An air-to-air left side view of a 495th
Tactical Fighter Squadron F-111F aircraft refueling from a
KC-135E Stratotanker aircraft. Credit STAFFSGT.DAVIDS.NOLAN

Sometime before 1999 and while in flight school, she met her husband, Mike, a Navy P-3 NFO. After they married, he took an assignment in Hawaii, and Tammi relocated from the 49th state to the 50th. "They happened to have the KC-135 there, and that's what Alaska trained me to fly." She elaborates, "Alaska paid for my training but I took a job in Hawaii, and they just didn't like that too much." Nevertheless, she got to serve her country on an important humanitarian mission over Kosovo.

F-16 Fighting Falcons receive fuel from a
KC-135 Stratotanker.
CreditU.S.AirForcephoto/StaffSgtSuzanneDay

Today, in the 31st state, and being in management and programming for the FAA at McClellan-Palomar Airport, Tammi helps keep the skies over Carlsbad and much of Orange County safe.

Tammi, Mike and their two daughters have lived in Carlsbad for four years and say they love it. "Carlsbad is a beautiful village, has a small town feel and there are ocean views all around," she says. "It's costly to live here, but we have a choice and we choose to live right here. We hope to retire here; we really hope to."

###

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Jesus Medina

As published on carlsbad.patch.com; Dec. 1, 2010

Making a Noble Living in Carlsbad: Jesus Medina

If you live in Carlsbad, you know his tomatoes; now meet the man.

  Anyone who visits the Carlsbad Village Farmers Market knows the face, tomatoes and zucchini blossoms of Jesus Medina.

For the last 18 years or so, Medina has worked for Valdivia Farms, a family-run Carlsbad ranch on the corner of Tamarack and El Camino.

He credits his father-in-law and employer, Francisco Valdivia, with giving him the opportunity to raise his children here in Carlsbad. Medina calls Valdivia, a Carlsbad rancher for more than 40 years, the "epitome of the American dream."

When you talk with Medina, phrases such as "fortunate and blessed" and "honest hard work" are woven throughout his sentences.

Throughout the years, Medina has tried to give back to his community by coaching both baseball and football from the high school level down to little league.

There's no place in the world like Carlsbad, Medina says. "I couldn't ask for a better home town. ... and to put my kids through school on seeds, dirt, water and sun is a pretty noble living."

### 

the original, more subjective submission:

   Anyone that visits the Carlsbad Farmer’s Market knows the face, tomatoes and zucchini blossoms of Jesus Medina. 

For the last 18 years or so, Jesus has been with the family-run Carlsbad ranch, Valdivia Farms (on the corner of Tamarack and El Camino). Calling him the “epitome of the American dream”, Jesus is obviously admirable and proud of his father-in-law and employer, (a 40+ year Carlsbad rancher) Francisco Valdivia.

Medina credits Valdivia with affording him the opportunity to raise his children here in Carlsbad. “I couldn’t ask for a better home town… and to put my kids through school,” he adds, “on seeds, dirt, water and sun is pretty noble living.” 

When you talk with him, terms like “fortunate and blessed” and “honest hard work” are woven throughout his sentences. 

Carlsbad itself is fortunate and blessed to have Jesus Medina active in the community. Throughout the years, Medina has coached both baseball and football from the high school level down to little league. And when it comes to role models for children in our schools and community, it’s people like Jesus Medina that help preserve and encourage values like “hard work” and “honest living”. 

Medina says that there’s no place in the world like Carlsbad, California. I say that’s because it’s people here like him that make it this way.

###

© 2010 dconder.llc

Clara Evans

As published on carlsbad.patch.com; Nov. 28, 2010

Everyone Has a Story; Clara Evans Has an Extraordinary One

Meet the lady behind the artist.

   On any given weekend in front of Carlsbad Inn, you may find, as I did, artist Clara Evans.

Clara was born and raised in Amsterdam, immigrated to America, went back to Holland for college, then to North Carolina, Florida and finally California (Pacific Beach) where she's "been in the same house since 1958."  Much of her artwork draws on memories of these travels.

She commutes to Carlsbad from Pacific Beach on a regular basis. She'd love to live here and prefers Carlsbad "because it's such a peaceful [yet active] area." But one of her three sons and grandchildren are there in PB, so she's "staying close to them."

Clara's closeness with her family is deep-rooted. You see, when she was 9 years old and her parents were planning their immigration to America, her mom protested the date on the tickets that her dad brought home. Obeying his wife's wishes, he got them listed on a later departure on another ship. A few days later they learned that their original vessel had hit two German mines and sank within minutes in the North Sea. Clara declares that her family was certainly blessed that day and that they shed many tears together over the years for the families that lost their lives.

Whoever coined the phrase "Everyone has a story to tell" was spot on. It's true-life stories like Clara's that are in each of us. Some are grand, some are sublime, some are poignant, some are strange—and the list goes on. But the only way to hear the history and thoughts bottled up in that regular person next to you in line at the Farmers Market, walking along Carlsbad Boulevard or just sitting at the Carlsbad Inn art exhibit, is to ask. 

###

the backstory...

I didn't get the bit about that fateful day until I had her show me some of her art. I noticed that in a number of pieces, she had renderings of the Cape Hatteras Lighthouse along with tiny, tiny printing. First, I asked about the lighthouse, "Well, that," she said, "is the first thing I remember seeing when we finally got to America." Then the tiny printing... "Those are all shipwrecks that happened along the North Carolina coast since they've been keeping records." Okay, fair enough. "You immigrated to America?" I asked, "How did that go?" Seeing the drawings of the lighthouse and the list of shipwrecks along with her using the word "finally" clued me in... and being the socially aware person that I am, I knew there HAD to have been an issue. And there was; and that's when she told me.

She couldn't remember many details but gave me enough to verify the events and here's what I found: I believe they were to sail on a Finnish military ship called the Ilmarinen. She had mentioned that her dad worked for a shipyard and that some big flagship vessel was to carry them to America- that's all she knew/could remember. The Ilmarinen is the only ship on record that has ever been struck by two German sea mines in the North Sea. This was in September 1941 and it was the flagship of the fleet.

Apparently, I believe, they were going to another port in the North Sea, then on to another ship headed for the shipyard at Cape Hattaras. I think she had/has no idea it was a military transport. Her father was most likely being transferred by the Finnish Navy to the US for who knows whatever reason. Being that she was nine, she didn't have all those details, and I guess was never really given them later in life.

At any rate, it was a major sinking to the Finnish military- their flagship vessel; 132 survived, 271 lost. The ship was completely submerged in seven minutes.

Everything I verified correlates to the few sketchy details she gave me in that brief interview, surrounded by her art on the side of the road.

###

The Backstory on "People We'll Meet on the Street"

   On November 15, 2010, my column on carlsbad.patch.com officially launched. Called People We'll Meet on the Street, I modeled this series of real-people snippits after a documentary project I edited in 2006 for director David W. Gibbons. That project, 14 Days in Great Britain, won critical, yet limited acclaim.

For me, 14 Days is an experience, not just a video documentary. It's thought-provoking and inspires a broad stroke view of the world from the mouthes of common every-day folk.

© 2005 Lighthouse/Hursey

Along with the video crew, Gibbons had two still photographers on location doing both studio and environmental portraits for what was to be a heavy-bound coffee table book. It's these environmental portraits done by LA photographer Dana Hursey that literally took my breath away when I first saw them. And today, they still do.

So when the opportunity came up to get onboard with the local patch.com bureau (an AOL venture), I presented this modified and localized concept of 14 Days to Carlsbad editor Deanne Goodman: Done as a weekly column; like Gibbons, I would simply go out on the town and talk to people. Like Hursey, I would (attempt) to take an awesome environmental portrait them.

Goodman agreed and the column is underway.

© 2010 dconder.llc

Now, it's easier to describe these stories in terms of what they are not rather than what they are: They are not news. There may be some local and timely insight from time-to-time, but this is opinion. Simple as that. Some will be commonplace, some will be extraordinary. That's life. Some will be posted on Patch. Some will not.

As new articles come online, whether it be through patch.com, other national media or my local desktop, I'll bounce them to this blog along with a little more backstory, if any. You can follow along here, or use this direct link to the column on Patch: People We'll Meet on the Street.

Unfortunately, Gibbons' 14 Days Project has been put on indefinite hiatus due to funding; and DVD copies of the documentary are all but extinct.

There are a few archival links still online that will give you a feel for what this endeavor was all about:

• trailer 1
• trailer 2
• trailer 3
• Slideshow w/original soundtrack by Anthony Boniface (recommended)

For more about 14 Days in Great Britain:
          http://www.steppinoutnewmexico.com/printout.php?articleid=341

To inquire about the 14 Days Project: info@davidgibbons.org
For more about patch.com: www.patch.com/about

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I've Attended A Loan Mod Hoedown; Going Again Soon

   As I gather my documents for what will be my sixth home loan modification attempt, thoughts of past attempts' successes and failures have begun to surface. I am going to journal this adventure now before these memories suppress themselves again. My hope and prayer is that through my adventures and misadventures with the mortgage moguls, you future loan mod attemptees will gain a better understanding of what your dancing partners could be like.

There were and are so many players at this shindig that it would make for a boring and ineffective read to leave out the names. If this were print, I'd think twice about it; however, I will dodge the libelous bullet and state now that truth is my defense.

Let's face it, if you refinanced your mortgage between 2005 - 2007, you are most likely in a train wreck of a loan. Those are not my words. These words were told to me by an agent at Washington Mutual who took over our loan in 2007. She said that they had this new thing called a "loan modification" and that I needed to do this if my family and I planned on staying in our home for the unforeseeable future.


A Train Wreck Of A Loan

It was sold to me in 2006 by a third-party outfit called Sunwest Mortgage. They made it easy to get in to, easy to cash out. What I didn't realize is that they put in for a 3.5% margin plus early-termination penalties ($17k). I'm sure it was all in the 200-page contract. Seriously, it was 200 pages. Who wants to read all of that legalese when it's just oh so easy to do? I had no choice, really. To keep the business in the black, it made sense at the time regardless of the penalties.

Back to 2007 and WaMu (as they began to be called).... Seriously. what were they thinking? What a silly name for such an intense time. Could it be that this poor branding choice contributed to their demise? Alright, I digressed....

Back to 2007... Linda at WaMu sent me a small contract of around 4 pages. My wife and I signed and notarized and BAM! It was done. Our monthly payment immediately went down by $850. Good news: no penalties, low margin and APR; bad news: it's an ARM. Regardless; God bless you Linda!

About four months later Linda gives me a call saying it looks like interest rates dipped again and they can reduce the payment by an additional estimated $500 per month. The cost to do this was $800. So a no-brainer. She sent a document to sign, we returned it with a check. She got a commission, we got a lower payment an that fee was recouped in less than two months.

She called again a couple of months later. Same pitch, lower rates, lower payment (~$350.) lower cost to initiate: $500. So we did it. She's a costly one to dance with, but well worth it.

That was the last time I ever heard from Linda. WaMu tanked. It was the largest American bank failure in history, no less. So that was their problem; little did I know, mine were just beginning. My new statements came from Chase Home Mortgage, a division of JPMorgan Chase.

Let's get this straight right now: I do not like Chase Home Mortgage. There is no one like Linda there offering me a 4-page deal and calling me "hun" in a southern accent on the phone. I believe to this day that Washington Mutual saw this mortgage mess coming and were doing what they could to fix it on their end- and they knew it was futile. Too little, too late.

Life with Chase Home Mortgage
By early 2008, I could see that Linda's band-aid fix for our loan needed to have a little modification love. Rates were lower, and it became widely known that mortgage banks desired to get the existing ARMs modified to a fixed-rate product. Great. Time to do a mod. Even greater: Chase has a full-on modification department and it's all done on-line. Begin.

Over the next 9 months I old-school faxed some 400 documents to Chase Home Mortgage. Usually, I only found out they needed updated information when I called and asked. They NEVER called or mailed giving me a progress report or requesting an update for my file.

One fateful day I received a letter from Chase Home Mortgage that simply said: "Under President Obama's Making Homes Affordable plan, you do not qualify." WHAT!? My ARM payment is 48% of my income. How can I not qualify? The form letter went on to say that I was disqualified because I owned a small business. Great. Another example of American Small Business Owners being punished. The letter also invited me to re-apply for a loan modification. Like I want to do that again.

To this day, (Chase and Obama) I believe I had a great case for a modification: an ARM; steady income; a mortgage payment that had grown to 48% of our gross and 4 years of personal and corporate tax statements that proved all of this.

Time To Get Serious

After some time passed I inadvertently got "hooked up" with Glover Law, a firm that specializes in getting loan modifications for borrowers that have been previously been turned down. They sold me on their pitch; which made sense. I researched them, they looked good, so we engaged.

Now this experience started out pleasantly enough. I discussed matters with them on a regular basis. They emailed when updates were needed. They emailed progress reports.There was solid two-way communication between us. But this did not last.

I began to discover that Chase had never received information from Glover Law.
WHAT?! We were well into this for six months and they had no dialogue going, apparently. When I confronted my contact at Glover, he said that Chase Home Mortgage is so big that certain divisions do not know what others are up to. Chase INSISTED that they know what ALL departments are up to and that no-one from Glover Law had EVER contacted them. I confronted Michael Glover, Esq. and got the same answer from them as before: "Chase is big and complicated, the people you call cannot interact with the people we call." I asked for the names at Chase they talked to and never received an answer. Some time went by and I quit getting updates from Glover. I asked again for the Chase names and got nary an answer. Okay, good bye Glover Law. I withdrew what was left out of my escrowed payment to them and closed the account.

Maybe this was a scam, maybe it wasn't. I cannot say. They did seem to try really hard for the initial few months. My gut feeling is that they could NEVER make contact with Chase, so they simply gave up. Like Watergate, the problem is the cover-up. Again I can neither prove nor disprove this. The pundits at Chase insists to this day that they've never heard of this law firm.

The Right Relationship Is Everything
Yes Chase, that's a great tag line you had in 1997. It's not hard to figure out why it was dropped. I wish I could say that I have had a "right relationship" with you. Regardless, I'll be asking you to the Annual Loan Mod Dance again soon. Why do I feel I'll be left standing at the punch table again getting, well… punched?

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Not about Work: Things I've Learned About Ants

   Earlier this year our home started being invaded by ants. Fortunately, these were not the fire ants like we had back in Texas that want to tear flesh from your bones. These guys were just looking for sweets and have no defense, so I decided to do a set of experiments before calling in the pros.

I will not go on about the set-up and tests, just the results:
(I'll use the term LOVE and HATE here because attracted-to and not-attracted-to are much too clinical and do not encapsulate the drama I witnessed in the ants.)

Sugar Ants:

• LOVE Popsicle juice
• HATE gasoline
• LOVE dried Popsicle juice
• HATE Habanero pepper juice
• LOVE Jamacian Rum
• HATE 99 bananas (schnapps)
• LOVE Fantastik® and Formula 409
• HATE Pine-Sol®
• LOVE the freezer (until they freeze to death)
• HATE the oven and grill (when ON)
• LOVE TERRO Liquid Ant killer
• HATE anything that moves

There probably will be no future clinical trials, however; if you have other helpful ant observations, please post in the comments below!